,To explain the methodology of what occurred the other morning, when I kicked Kadeem out, would benefit you. Hindsight is 20/20, and maybe just maybe we could have continued to progress but it would only be on HIS terms and not my own. He was wrong for coming into my life and expecting me to be there with open arms after breaking my heart. His indecisiveness then, would more than likely strike again and leave me in a worst position than before. Kadeem is a lovely man, but he has a lot of growing to do, as do I. “Why not grow together?” you ask, I love him but I cannot sacrifice or silence my feelings to indulge in the nostalgia that once was. Maybe in a perfect world we would have been able to thrive, but currently, right now, that fails to be the case. Who knows what’s to come.
My priorites will have to be putting our children first. I cannot hate him, and I will always love him, but right now I’m not ready to accept what he’s bringing my way. Kadeem, my love, we need to remain best friends, because raising beautiful children will require that so that their happiness come first. I will always be in your deepest gratitude for blessing me with these two royal beings. You work on you and I work on me; eventually we’ll become the better version of ourselves. As the years pass, we’ve seen each other encounter new lovers but it was never on the magnitude of the love we offered each other. Maybe what we had was sacred and just too powerful to even be expressed in this dimension but it was one of my most savored feelings of love. I love that it is never awkward around you and that we can act as a confidant for each other when need be. I love our new found maturity and respect that we have for each other. And I love whatever’s meant to come of this. Occasionally, you invite me out and so forth, but we’ve grown to learn how to handle certain affairs to be supportive and respectful to both of our beings and our children. A few months ago, I found out you were moving for a new job opportunity and you hesitated telling me for reasons that were, beyond, obvious to me. Both happiness and distraught were battling for first place in my heart, but above all I knew this was destined to happen. Whatever he had established for himself would better him, our kids, and inadvertently myself. I lit three candles for him every week; one for prosperity, one for happiness, and one for knowledge. He would call every now and again to annoy me, and honestly I didn’t mind. When we met we were best friends, turned lovers. Now we are lovers, turned best friends. We were brought to this point for a reason and to serve as a lesson to those, in love. The love we have for each other will always be prolific. I’ve revisited you in many forms, Isis, Oshun, Yamaya, and now Kiera, as you were my Osiris, Oya, Ogun, and now Kadeem; star crossed lovers for a lack of better terms. This on-going war between love and lust severed our bond earlier, but the love was strong enough to survive and bring two beautiful children into fruition. Maybe we broke the cycle that our ancestors wanted because our love, has not disappeared but rather transformed in a way that serves both of us. Maybe the next choice of star crossed lovers will get it together faster than we did. Áse Rule 7: Understand and come to terms with the crossroads that life brings you to. At first you might not understand, but trust me it will make sense in the end. Those who are meant to stay, will. Their role might change,but they will remain a constant. Oh yeah, if you’re shooting your shot, shoot wisely.
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A'maara L.A Guide to Blk Love Archives
May 2020
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