I ran into my ex on 125th and Lenox. It was quite a strange experience; the atmosphere was heavy and saying hello just seemed like the mature thing to do. Things between us ended horribly, but you know I'm happier now, I just, I mean we just never got that sense of closure. Days later, he found me on Facebook and invited me out to lunch, this would be my opportunity to seize that chance of "goodbye" that we never received. But, do I tell my man. Would he trust my decision to meet up with a past lover over bad food and cheap drinks? I don't think so. I go anyways, allowing myself to get back that piece of me that he was hoarding, for whatever selfish reasons, is way more important than his opinion. The day of this "date" is finally here, I somewhat regret doing this because we all know closure is total bull. I spot him, he shaved and got a clean fade. He knew this was my favorite look. damn, he's beautiful, but that's not my purpose, I need to stay focused. We spoke, we laughed, and, we dined just like old times. It felt good, it was a warming sensation that became so foreign to me. But I realized that you can miss something and not want it back. My man now, is that exactly, a man. He gives me this warmth times 10. He wouldn't jeopardize our relationship for temporary desires as my old joint did. I know he will be hurt and even angry when I tell him that I convened with my past, but I think it's pretty damn reassuring that he's everything and more that our ancestors could have ever blessed anyone with, he's my blessing.
Rule number two: leave your past alone, sometimes you're better off without it.
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A'maara L.A Guide to Blk Love Archives
May 2020
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